Sonu's Website

Just saw his web page. Cool like him. Organized to the perfection. I do not how he does that. May be he could a trick or two to me. But all in all a great presentation of his personality.

www.cse.iitd.ac.in/~cs1070185

The night when it finally happened

So I am pissed the whole day, about the discovery of Balaji's sickining acts. Who the fuck takes your socks without your knowledge. Socks!!! Can't believe it. I had decided to let it out at him in the evening. I talk to Jagdish about the incident, looking for some sympathy. But Jagdish is Jagdish. All practical and suave. He gives me essential tips. But I am thinking if he would have done the same had Balaji worn his under garments and left them over at some corner in the house. I went to office but I could not work. I then went to see the movie but I could understand little. I left the movie in the middle and went home. Even the Seinfeld's could help me break a smile. I mean taking food without permission is still bearable, but picking up someone else's clothes is just crossing the line by a mile.

He comes in around 1:20 am and I am all flared up. This was when I had not slept in nearly two days. I approached him and asked him if he took my socks from my suitcase. As excepted the reply was no. I show him the corner where my socks lay, all fucked up. I picked and showed him those and asked him to admit. This was his trademark. He would use a pair till its unusable and then throw it off. I had the evidence. But still he denied. Worse still, he had absoluetly no shame in his eyes. I knew he was thick skinned, but I actually expected him to be nice enough to roll his eyes and look around. But that was my tipping point.

I told him that I won't pay him the full rent from April. I had stronger facts and I was in position to assert myself. I told him that it was convinient for me not to pay him the full rent as it was convinient for him to use any of my stuff without my permission. I had planned this earlier, but little did I knew that it was going to lead to his admittance to sorts. He was now shouting at me saying that this was good excuse of not paying the rent. To which, I replied that I was assitance and had no problem in paying the decided rent. As I was retiring to sleep, he continued arguing. That's when the bubble really burst. I pointed out all his cheap tricks, though he kept dening. My voice was now floundering. After around twenty minutes he lost his cool. He told me lower my voice or else. May be we were at the point of blows. But I did not die down. My adreline was so high that I could have run 1 mile. Joking. But yeah I found it difficult to doze off even one hour atfer out fight ended.

When he just could not put with my arguments he resorted to the old high school tricks. He said I should talk to him only when I get a decent enough GPA to match his. Saala tin kahika. He then said that my voice was girlish. Then came the statement of admittance. 'Perhaps I should use all your stuff like today' as he threatened me. It did not occur to me at that time but today morning last nights confrontation really began to make sence to me. All his highschool tricks just pointed to fact that he was guilty. Maybe Jagdish was also listening to our fight and he also got the point. Balaji was saying sorry for the last two statements in the morning which sort of conformed that. He tired to act innocent all morning moving around in HIS socks, but I guess the fallout had happened.

I did not want to write this piece. No nobody wants to write something unpleasant. But Today I felt that I finally put it across someone. I used to find it strange when my father used to fight on smaller issues like parking space, but now I know the demarcations of ones liberty. It was perhaps the first time I argued with someone for over 30 minutes standing up for myself. I can't say it was victory for me, but still I feel good today. I think I finally came out of the cocoon at last.

Heart in my mouth

So another night out. I have gotten used to this now. Its kind of difficult as it dawns. But I just force it now. People say caffeine and tea are great, but I think if you really intend to sleep, they won't really work. But if you force yourself things fall in place. Words coming from a weak person. But its as true as Varun Gandhi's recent address.

Again any arbitrary person. I mean I am a little inept at giving analogies. But anyways. After a successful night sojourn, I returned home around 11:30 am. Homework was finished and I was relived that it was Friday. Two days of peace coming up. Certainly a movie tonight. I had a heavy brunch. Set the alarm to 1 pm. Then went to sleep. Now this usually happens after a night out. I missed the bell. And by the time I had my next wink, it was already 1:40. Hurriedly I attended the call of nature and then took a quick bath. Dressed up. Thought I would finally change my socks today after about a week or maybe 9 days. Not sure.

And lo!! No socks pair in my temporary Almira ( my suitcase). That's weird. I always had 4 to 5 pairs. Hmmm.. I searched the whole room. Still no sign of them. I must get a new pair come what may. Opened up the second temporary Almira. No socks even their. I am out of mind now. And all my suspicions are glared towards Balaji. I do a thorough search of the apartment and finally get an evidence of his cheapness and creepiness. I am now feeling looted and disgusted. I am sick to the mouth now. I banged my fist on the walls and let out a war cry. So loud that the dogs next door joined in.Admist all this I forgot, I had a bus to catch.

By the time, I put on those stinking ones again and rushed outside, the bus had gone. I could see it going way from me. So was Balaji.

I had NuCo class at 2:30 pm. And I had to submit the assignemnt in that. I caught the next bus and just made it in time to the class. Just as I entered the room and placed the assignment along with other ones, Suzzane just blasted at me. She said that the deadline was before the class and this won't count. I was already sick and this statement for hers literally froze me. She told me to leave the assignment their and go and sit. For next ten minutes, I just kept turning the assignment sheet over and over, thinking of a possible another 'B'. I had already missed an earlier assignment and I needed to turn in all the susequent three. The amro besides me is also turning the rules the sheet. I guess he also fucked up. Its good to have two people in the same sinking boat.

After the class ended, I approach Suzzane. She was more friendly now and told me that this was my last chance that I was turning in the assignment during the lecture and next time she won't accept it al all. I told her that I missed the bus. Finally my heart beat dropped. We began to talk like normal people now. I was relived but the sickness persited throughout the day.

Monetize

New option in blogger. May be you get money if people read your blog. But you can't suck me in. Especially after the whole banking fiasco I really do not trust any online stuff. Got who made this internet. God who made Google. God why do I waste so much time on Google's products. If someone from Google reads this, please note that I and for that matter many other people write for myself and my family. Kindly do not MONETIZE this. I can understand we are living in difficult times. But still....

Record Breaking Unshaved Face

I thought, I have broken all records this time. Its been nearly six weeks since my last shave. Last time it was in last Fall. But do not remember the duration. But this time I have gone over the roof to the extent that I have forgotten the color of my shape and its color! I think. Its really the height of laziness, I ever reached. But I am glad, I have broken one extreme.

The thing is here nobody cares. Although I know I look pathetic and people do not tell me that, but its like nobody in the lab cares. The amros consider it as a privacy breach asking about health and appearance. The chaptas can't speak much of english. And even if they do stammer about me, I won't know that. Their gibberish is GIGO for me. That leaves just the Desis. A quite smile and an assurance is enough, that I would do it this weekend. Life was never so free. I wear anything and go to university and the office. Nobody cares. 

I remember my Mom would get after me, calling me anything from Osama( err the 'T' word, amros go hide) to Dadrial. After a couple of weeks I used to get fed up and then shave. But I never went beyond three weeks. I do not remember when did I last showed my face to them over Skype.

That's the only positive I see of living by one self. You could possibly do anything, also things which you could not back at home.   

Sehwag ki batting

Can't help much. Such is his brutality. Sorry using the same old words of our commentators. But just can't find anything else to describe his form of batting. I think he is all about playing with the psyche of the bowler. Just imagine. You wake up fresh. Do you morning warm-ups. You are feeling good. You go in bowl a decent ball. It is hit for a four. You think probably the next one would get him. You bowl the next one. It speeds even faster to the boundary. You bowl the third into his body. The ball lands into the crowd. By now any bowler would feel the panic. Panic of getting all the six balls into the fence or over the fence. That's where Sehwag is so good. If he initially upsets one or two bowlers, game is over.

Yuvraj is even a worser batsman to bowl to. Because he just hit sixes and some fours. And Raina only hits sixes. So chances for 6/6 happening are very high if your initial deliveries land up in stands. 

Personally I too have a experienced such trauma. When you get hit for three or four boundaries in one over, you just don't feel like bowling another one. You really start thinking as a batsman then and it becomes difficult to think as a bowler. I guess experience matters. But still !!!

As a write this Sehwag is dismissed for 40.

Studies and work

This is kind of a nice concept here. You work and study at the same. You can fund your education or your living expenses by working at various places on campus. At graduate level, I think one is too old enough to not work. 

But still funding education here is not as straight forward as it seems. Compared to India it is disproportionate. I remember when my parents were organizing funds for my education here. We just went crazy. We even mortgaged our small possession. But still it was not good enough. 

Even though you have the flexibility to work here, sometimes it gets really difficult. I say this because I am a TA for two semesters now. I can hardly remember any weekends when I could sleep without any inhibitions. The whole week is so busy here that weekends are usually spent in getting your courses right. There are hardly any holidays except the spring break and the thanksgiving break in fall. So its like you are working non-stop for 10 months in an year. Don't know what's the scene like in summers. But I don't except to be any less cruel.

I have not been on job at all, so pardon me. But I guess job is still easier in the sense that you know that you don't have to put in extra effort. You know you have to get up in morning, go do work and then come back and sleep. Studying while working has no fixed time limits. You have to wait for the semester to end. 

But as they say you loose something to gain something.

A colorless Holi

So now it is Holi. Last year it was Diwali. No celebrations here. Just the same old office/library. Go in morning. Come back in the evening. Even the clubs are closed in the spring break. Life sucks in breaks over here.

Nevertheless, Holi was never a special affair back home. Some pakoras in the morning and then dahi papdi in the evening. Mamma never got after me to clean the my books and the cupboards. She only did that at Diwali. But as a kid I remember I used get a new pichkari every year and after Holi I used to preserve it for the next time. I remember how I used to prod my father a few days before Holi to get the preserved one repaired(always the valve used to get screwed). I do not why because I anyways used to get a new one. I guess kids are complicated and simple at the same time. 

Don't know how Mamma and Sonu celebrated this time around. Surely they would not have celebrated as we did the last time. Mamma won't play with water at all. But the three of us just drenched each other. Papa sprayed water on us from some distance. And each of us watered the other person when he least expected. 

Apparently Sonu has painted something this time around. But I have a suspicion. He perhaps more busy than me, to find any time at all.

Whoever reads this: HAPPY HOLI.

Late Night Romp at the Office

Who could possibly do that? Its me. So the problem Southgate its too far to walk after the last bus leaves in the night from Downtown at 12:21 am. So in the cold season its better to stay up in the office at night, than exposing yourself to the bitter cold. Even if its not cold but I am unwilling to walk for one and half hours with at least five or six uphill hikes. Of course you can call a cab but who wants to spend extra bucks in this weak economy.

So you have six and half hours in the office before you can get the first bus in the morning. I had stayed up in the night in the office last semesters as well, but that was like in the last few days when the work was more. But this time this came all to soon.

I decided to do something different this time. I went and bought a lot of stuff to eat during the night. Chips, Fanta, oranges and apples. You could anything you want including the DAARO. But you do not want to be caught by your adviser in an inebriated state. Please do not screw up your career for just a romp.

So now you are all set you can do whatever you like. Especially since my room is small and we are a total of six people. The room is deserted around 9 pm, given that Damien bhaiya does not decided to stretch it. I closed the door. Played music aloud. Saw all sorts of videos on youtube. Even tried some of my old spin bowling with the ball of my collegue. Of course I had assignment to complete so I worked as well. You can dance as well. But then its good to know some form of dance. Imagine being caught doing some crap moves by someone. It would be a double offense. 

The only thing the troubles in early hours of the day is the urge to sleep. I am thinking of getting a sleeping bed so that I can sleep 2/3 hours. But I know once I get it I will sleep the whole night.

When I am hurrying to catch the bus in the morning and I bump into the lady of the cafe, she sometimes wishes me good morning. I smile and greet her good night.

The First Feel of Spring

Finally after 5 months of gloom, we have bright weather in State College. The Sun was out in full glory on Friday, the things were warming up nicely and the temperatures were in upper 20s. That's how the weather man would say in the night news on FOXS. Just add a little bit of American accent to it. 

I say it was bright because after a long time one could really see and feel that there are girls here. I mean let us put it this way. I was coming back here from Delhi, the taxi driver told me that he does not like winter for three reasons. OK. One its very cold, two roads are slippery to drive and three the girls wear too much clothing to cover themselves. I thought. Wow! Lage raho Uncleji! But on Friday I realized what he meant. People get rid off the their winter stuff, including the girls. Its a different feeling on the first day of the spring. They call it the spring semester. But the spring arrived very late indeed.

 

Things that I miss sorely

Well to all the readers. Intended and unintended once. Apologies for the grammatical and spelling mistakes in my blogs. I do not have a sound ANGREZI background, although I come from a convent school. But from now on its a promise that you would have to make lesser effort to read and understand.

So after an up and down week, I was really depressed on Sunday. Not really depressed but the comfort level wasn't there. I got up late. Ate something. Do not remember what was it. I guess might have been cereals and milk. Then I fucked the time watching two movies. Now it was already evening. I had not bathed. More frustration. I decided to go to Guntas for  chat. But I hadn't brushed my teeth either. God! A miserable day indeed.

Perhaps watching the movies made me yearn even more about being in Delhi. first I saw Rock On. Then I was really wondering what life I am leading here, without my best friends and my family. If that wasn't enough, I saw Slumdog. That was it. Seeing all sorts of people in the city and the whole city was enough. My mind just oscillated between craziness and blankness all the time there after.

One interesting observation. The hard core hindi movies just show everything which is not Indian. They would show people in there personal lives, their problems and how they fight it out or don't fight it out. They would show songs, heroines with lesser apparel, villains with metal rods and heros with chocolate sweetness. There is everything which you can fantasize about in your dreams, but never get it.

What Slumdog really did right, for which it got Oscars, was that it portrayed people in the surroundings to which they really belong. It showed people as they are in India. Simple. They showed the Taj. They showed the railways. They showed the call centre. They even showed the litter rooms. True there was a love story. But then you need one. Else there is no motive to make a movie.

When I saw people on streets, especially the girls, I really thought if the life over here is really that much worth. You really can't get a live feed of cricket matches here, only the highlights. The excitement of watching a live match is different. Now I get blankly stare at the live scorecard. The food is always not good. Then there is obviously the family. 

I remembered when I used go out for walks in the evening with mamma. We used to get fruits from our fruitwala. Sometimes I used to purchase stationery from Laxmi and Sonu would argue about the quality of things. Then we used to get bread fro the shop opposite to Laxmi. Sometimes we would buy chocolates for some occasion or no occasion. Sometime I would go to our Homeopathic Doctor for medicines, mostly for cold. Then after coming home I and Sonu would fight over turns about carrying dinner to Dadi and Baba. Then would fight again who use the internet cable.

I know that time would not come back. I guess the only memory I have had in the few months about the evenings have been getting the milk or going for badminton.